It's never safe for us (not even in the evening)
by PeculiarMaleficent
Summary: Santana and Brittany are soulmates. Is that even enough to get things through? Brittany wanted to fight but it was her fault why these things are happening. She wanted to say she's willing to do everything, but when it comes to her one true love's happiness... can she really do everything? AU Brittana (I suck at summaries)


**So here is a one shot for you guys!**

**Disclaimer: you know the drill? Glee is not mine.**

**I actually wrote this sometime last year, posted, deleted and reposting it again. I actually put it on my other account the one with Pretty Lady Princess.. but I deleted that one too.**

**Anyways.. I'm just posting this to show that I am still alive. "You Were Mine" is still there and I will be updating it someday when I found a way to write Brittany's POV. I know the story but I don't know how to start it. Lol..**

**So, have fun guys! :D**

* * *

It wasn't a secret that she was getting married. It never was. You were friends for so long and practically breathe same air while growing up, so knowing an event in each other's lives is easy. However, you have lost your communication for about a year but eventually bounce back after seeing each other in a get together party in Berry's house.

You carry in your heart the disappointment that it will never be you. You regret ending the relationship that you have for the sake of continuing your dream in dancing. It could have been you. Only if you are that strong to hold on tight. But nothing else matter now. The regret, disappointments and guilt because today, she is engage and getting married with the person that you can never be. You can see in your friend's eyes that she love that person. She won't jump in a long term relationship if she doesn't love her, right? But, why is it every time you look in her eyes, you see hurt and disappointment. You asked yourself, _'does she still love me?'_

She called you three days after the woman she's marrying proposed to her. She was so excited and it's like her head is in heavens. She was beyond ecstatic that this time she found that someone willing to hold her tight and never let go. She asked you to be her maid-of-honor, because you are her best friend she reason out.

Now, you are here in her room after the party. It was her bridal shower. Yes, without her soon to be wife. They still follow that traditional thing in wedding given how liberated this wedding will be. You are waiting for her while you dance on her Amy Winehouse's playlist. Amy and wine—_a perfect combination_—you think. You were so lost in your swaying when she opened the door. You didn't know that she did it until you spin around and opened your eyes to see that oh-so-familiar smirk adorning her features. You smile at her and offered the wine you've been drinking. She shakes her head to say no.

"Dance with me." You said and like a perfect timing, Just Friends starts to play. '_how appropriate.' _ You said. You look at her, she was about to say no, but you grab her on her hips and start swaying. You both fall in a rhythm that both of you know.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Dancing." You said like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"But really Britt, what are you doing?" she asked you again. You didn't answer instead you just pulled her closer to you. You rest your chin on her head and she leaned her head in your body. You held her closer as if your life depended on her, which is true.

"I miss you." You said quietly

"I miss you too." she whispered back easily.

You sing her the lyrics of the song, '_when will we get the time to be just friends?_' how fitting to the new reality that you have right now. You knew even from the start, you were never been friends. You always have that special connection that makes you more than just friends. You want to tell her that you are forever hers, but you can't. you can't because it is too late. All you wanted to do now is hug her and for the last time make her feel your love. Your love that never faltered.

It saddened you when she moved on, but, you can't blame her since it was your decision to have a break from the relationship and continue with your dream. She respected your decision. That is how selfless she is, that she rather lose you than you lose your dream. You became successful but at the same time you lose that one person who made you feel special; that one person who protected you from anything and everything. And now, all you wanted to do is to be alone with her and savor the remaining moments that you can fully have her. So you did this now.

You didn't noticed that you were crying until she brushed those tears in your eyes that are freely flowing on your face.

"Britbrit…" she said it with that soft voice, that soft caring voice that melts your heart and thugs the string of your core. You do not know what you are doing; maybe spur of the moment, maybe feelings. You cupped her face and kissed her on her lips; it was a soft peck at first. She even thought that it was a friendly gesture. Like the way you are before. She smiled at you. You leaned and about to kiss her again when she speak.

"Britt.. No." she said pleading.

"Why?" you asked still leaning in. you are inches away in capturing her lips. You can feel the warm breathe that she have that makes your spine shiver.

"You know why." She answered you back. Eyes closed.

"No. Tell me." You said. But do you really want to? Do you really want to hear that she is stopping this—whatever it is—because she is in love with someone else? That days from now she'll tie the know with that person and you will be left there waiting… hanging.

"I.. I can't." she stammered finally opening her eyes. Her eyes shows anguished and vulnerability. She pushed you away, but since you are taller and stronger than her, you easily towered her and stop her from pushing you away.

"San… please don't fight it. You know you want this too." You said convincing her, trying to calm her down.

"B, this is wrong." She said. She's hurting. You know she is hurting, she is torn, but you can't seem to stop what you are doing. You want to do this, and you're going to do it. You hold her chin with your index finger and lift it. you looked in her eyes.

"Tonight, it's just you and me. Forget that you have a fiancé. Forget everything, forget them all San. Be with me tonight and forget all of them. Just for tonight." You cast the spell, and now you are praying that she will fall. You look deep in her eyes, you can see that she is battling with herself. She nods, before looking away.

"Don't." you said, tilting her head again and immediately capturing her lips. I was a passionate kiss, reassuring. As if telling her that you won't hurt her. The passionate kiss turned deeper, intense. You felt her hand intertwined in your neck.

Your hands slowly moving to the hem of her shirt. You pulled it up and in a matter of seconds you are both naked and you leading her to a new kind of dance. Funny how both of you didn't notice the playlist kept on playing and the moment you pushed on the bed, Love is a losing game played. You pushed her, but didn't kissed her yet. You just hold her, hands biting in her flesh. You leaned in and your cheek is against her ear, feeling the heat radiating from it, burning you. You pulled back to look at her.

She is breathing through her mouth, her lips parted just enough to see that her teeth are clenched. Her eyes are shut but she has drawn her brows into a shape that denotes pain. You got all worried and you say her name. she then opens her eyes and meet your stare and wonder why her eyes look different, before you realize it, her pupils have dilated.

"San?"

She opens her mouth, but no sound comes out, and then she brings her lips to yours. Her hands roamed so as yours. You slide your hands over her slick skin and she does the same with you. Her breathing becomes erratic and you can't help but smile at the sensation. You still have the power to do that to her.

You enter her. But she entered you too.

'_I wish, everything were this simple. I wish when I wake up. Her engagement will just be another nightmare and you are indeed hers and she is mine too.' _You thought before collapsing beside her.

**After two hours..**

You are cuddled in the hotel's bed, with her head resting on your chest.

"you can be with me. You know." You said. Still trying to convince her.

"I know. But I won't." she answered. You were shocked to hear her words. You weren't expecting her to say those words, it is like this is not the Santana you knew. If this is the old Santana you're talking to, you knew that she won't hesitate to cancel the wedding and be with you. But, if she does love you.. why can't she? Or you're just mistaken with the looks in her eyes.

"why?" you asked. She just snuggle further and ran her fingers on your arms.

"we might be soul mate. Heck you might even be that one great love of mine. But.. I'm with her, she may not be my soulmate nor my one great love. But this, _*she showed her engagement ring which pained you to see*_ this band and the very reason that she makes me happy and contented makes me choose her. I know that you can do that too… but B, I love her too and I'm going to stay with her." She paused. You felt her move, you look at her and she was sitting now with cross legs. You find her staring right back at you. She lead your head to her legs and stroke your hair.

"Sometimes… having a soulmate doesn't mean you have to stay with them. Yes, you can have them forever by simply being friends with them. That soulmate is a reminder that you can have a relationship that will make you satisfied. Soulmates understand each other with one eye contact and you know what? it doesn't always need to be like that. Being in a relationship sometimes mean that you get to argue with each other but at the end of the day you'll be still sleeping side by side, fingers intertwined, and both have smile in your faces." You look at her and you see a content smie on her face. And you knew it is game over for you.

"I don't want to lose you in my life. I love you. You know that. But I also think that we are better off as friends. As best friends. We are much better than that. what happened if we got together? We will start all over again. You'll be on tour again… I'll be left hanging. You know that I don't do waiting… more so.. you deserve more than that Britt. I love you. You love me. We are soulmates… but sometimes, even soulmates do not end as lovers. Sometimes, soulmate is not enough." She said.

"I understand." You whispered. You really do not understand it, but little by little her words sink in. you pulled her closer to you and give her a peck on the lips. A peck that have so many meanings like: _I'm always here. I'm happy for you. Goodbye. I love you forever._

She lie again on the bed and you pulled her closer to you.

"can we stay like this. Even for a bit?" you asked quietly.

"yes."

* * *

**_Fin_**

* * *

**Thoughts?**


End file.
